Have you ever had a massage? You may have scheduled it because of a pain in your back or maybe because you just wanted to relax. You went in for the massage and submitted yourself to the masterful hands of the massage therapist. As she began the process of massaging your muscles you felt some tight, painful spots. Although some of those points were extremely tender, and sharp, you knew it was a good kind of pain.
A really good massage hurts in just the right places to remove the toxins that have built up in your body. Sometimes those toxins are there and you don’t realize it until you get that massage and it is broken up. The pain is great as the toxins are released. As the massage goes on the pain lessens. The toxins are broken down. Following the massage you need to drink much water to remove the toxins.
So is the detoxification of the toxins in one’s life. It hurts, but it is good. The toxins are broken up and released as one spends time in God’s Word and in prayer. The pain lessens the more one intakes of the Word of God and spends time with the master masseuse.
God has begun the detoxification process in my heart and life. It is painful as I am finding that God is breaking up the toxins that have polluted and drained my life. He is digging deep to address and remove the things that hold me captive. During the detoxification process there are times of digging and times of rest and healing.
Sometimes the digging can be so intense that I just want to cry. I cry out to God and He gives me a promise that helps me to rest and find a healing balm of His Words. It may take many painful times of digging, but ultimately God will use this detoxifying massage to make me into someone who is beautiful and useful to Him.
I have already seen God begin to work in my heart and life. I know that He works in the heart of those who are truly seeking Him and wanting Him to touch their lives. That is where I am at this summer. Looking for clarity on the next steps I am to take. Where I am to go and what I am to do.
God has been stirring my heart and drawing out some things that I did not even know were there. God is so faithful and loving and is truly setting me free from my own deceitful heart. So many of these things I did not know were taking root deep in my soul. The tattoos and labels that have made me feel so useless at times. But with the help of God, we are digging out the ugly things that have become a hindrance to my serving Jesus with my whole being.
Through the Bible Studies “Limitless Life” by Pastor Derwin Gray, and “The Storm Inside” by Shiela Walsh, God has brought many of these things to the forefront of my mind. Multitasking, jealousy, envy, anger, frustrations, covetousness, just to name a few. Doing and not being. Ungratefulness, stubbornness, narcissistic. Full of heartache, disappointment, fear, bitterness, unforgiveness, anger, regret, abandonment, shame, insecurity.
Will 12 weeks be long enough to deal with the brokenness and find healing? Some of these things that have infiltrated my life will take a while to get released. It may take several massages to release all of these toxins, but I know that God has a plan. Break up the toxins, remove, rest and heal. Only God knows how long it will take. I am so thankful that He knows already how long the process will be and what the final outcome will be.
Yes, I see and know that God is my husband. He’s been my husband since my husband died 15 years ago. I also know that He has my best interest at heart. But sometimes I just don’t understand what is going on in my life.
I sure did not see the jealousy, or covetousness coming at me. I’ve been content for many years. Just God and me spending time together. Jealous and covetous of those who have a partner for life, a spouse to talk with, to spend time with each day. There is just something different about having a human being to talk with, to hold hands together, to spend time with and know that they are there when you need that hug to get through a tough day. There to pray with you and encourage you along the way.
Lord, today I come to you with my broken heart. My life full of toxins that are pulling me down and away from what you have for me. Help me to remember that You are my husband and You love me more than any human ever can or will. When the things that come my way to steal, kill, and destroy my joy, may I run to You and allow Your loving, gentle hands to work out the knots and toxins in my life so the joy of my heart may be restored and our relationship strengthen. Thank You for loving me enough to show me the things that are keeping me from moving forward with You and doing what You’ve called me to do. In Jesus’ Name Amen